knowing when it’s time to give up :(

•October 10, 2012 • Leave a Comment

it’s been a good ride, exhilirating even, but the bumps we encounter is not worth the thrill and fun anymore 😥

what frustrates me the most is that even though I know that it’s time to get off this emotional roller coaster, I can’t bring myself to unbuckle myself from the seat and leave.

if only leaving is really that easy 😥




Of time spent with you :)

•April 20, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I cannot believe that it’s nearing 4months since we agreed to be together, time really does fly fast when spent with people that matters. (or a person in this case) And the fact that we spent most of the time together, heck I could count in my hands the days we actually spend apart. ^_^

Never really thought I was the type that would come close to tears when left alone, I mean, I was born alone, used to eating alone, even watching muvees alone used to be my thing, but now, I can’t imagine, even doing mundane things without you. YOU make me giddy and lost at the same time.  YOU make me get used being beside your *tallness* (yes I am calling you that), and lost without your hand holding mine.

Here’s to hoping that you would continue holding my hand in the foreseeable and maybe even the not future.

I Love you Bee


cause I'm still chicken shit when it comes to posting pictures of us in the net

pictures of us in the net would be awesome, 'cept for the fact that I end up looking like a troglodyte beside you in the ones we have.

Geekette and Geek Dude

•January 25, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Once a upon a time a geekette met a geek dude in a geek fight and yada yada yada….

Much as I would love to start my sorry excuse for a love story with that so called opening, and since the term fight has been used, I would have really love if there was blood involved (gore fangirling over here), we did actually meet in a geek fight and quite frankly, that was it.

You acknowledged me and, continued eating your pesto pasta and answering the Futurama category questions with the same gusto. I didn’t really give you much thought nor attention, partly because, well physically speaking, you’re TOO TALL for me, (although, how I figured this out while you were sitting I have no idea) I was actually eyeing someone from across the room XD.

My very first geek fight, and would’ve thought that I’d meet someone who actually likes me without makeup, makes me laugh and puts up with my idiosyncratic views and opinions on the GEEKDOM.

Though it took you long enough to acknowledge me (you have no idea how excruciatingly painful was the wait for me, as I’ve been pining for you ever since October last year .

Hopeful for more months with you Geek Dude, you make this Geekette giddy with feelings she thought no longer existed 🙂

of feelings and whatnots…… (dregs from an SATC marathon)

•October 23, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I once wrote as a status in Facebook this  random thought.

see that’s the funny thing about memories…
they make you feel emotions with the same intensity as before,
yet you’re in an entirely different place in your life. Kinda makes you question the present doesn’t it? 😕 

that thought actually stemmed from me watching too many episodes of Sex and the City… (big fan and not ashamed of it), see, whenever Carrie types up an article, I’m also inspired to write/type away my thoughts too.

well, obviously I don’t deal with most of the adult things she actually encounters on the show, but most of the things she mentions about feelings are relatable for almost every woman at any age bracket.

so here I am blogging about feelings as a result of that ordeal.

back  to the main thought…

memories and feelings…two aspects of life that are so interconnected that  one would simply not exist without the other.

whenever memories are conjured by our oh-so-busy mind, the feelings and emotions that accompany that memory comes back as well.

oftentimes, that would be a good thing, it allows you to relive the past even for just a fleeting second, and believe me, that’s a really healthy thing 🙂 however if you start obsessing about those, then It wouldn’t really count as a good emotional exercise wouldn’t it?

being two years 

to bachelorhood and beyond

•October 20, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Yes that is not a typo, and yes I did mention bachelorhood as it poses a much cooler vibe than that of old maidenhood. Bachelorhood sounds more of a choice, while old maidenhood sounds like you didn’t have any choice >_<

Yes, I am all for bachelorhood, and super proud of that.

See the thing is, I’m only 23 and though my biological clock is not pushing me to procreate as of now, I am fairly adjusted to fact that I may not be able to marry someday, and believe it or not, I am all for that.

People are often surprised to learn that for an only child, and a girl at that, I have no plans to get married. Most often they speculate that  I got burned by a past relationship, though I admit, that I did get burned, but that’s hardly the reason for my mindset.

Don’t get me wrong, I am only saying that I am perfectly ok not being married, it doesn’t translate into “I don’t want to get into a relationship”. Matter of fact, I am perfectly open to having one. Actually, a lot of people translate “I don’t plan on getting married” “I plan to stay single forever”, that’s actually not the case folks. I’m open for lifetime partnership, and I don’t plan on getting married not because, I don’t believe in the sanctity of the Holy Matrimony, but because I know that sooner or later, you’ll both realize that the initial love is gone and what you have ahead of you is only a lifetime partnership. Back to square one?

Besides, not being married doesn’t mean that infidelity is a given, if you love your partner and they mean the world to you, faithfulness is already given in the equation isn’t it?

In the end though, despite my modern views on union and such (mama and papa would certainly be disappointed when they learn about this) there is still this hopeful little girl inside me, wanting to meet, not a perfect prince charming that she reads about in fairy tales, but someone who will be able to change my mind and will finally be able to make me say “I DO”.


-this one is for you *yes You* the one who has been making me feel giddy since September 🙂



•March 12, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I used to be scared shitless by films delving on the infliction of pain, mutilation and all that hoopla >.< but as the years went on, plus the onset of “if you may call it maturity” I learned to appreciate the “art” and story behind these films. Before all I could think about was the pain, but now I am suddenly interested on the psychology behind the fear and pain, well aside the obvious pain that stems out of the torture and mutilation, and the fear of death, the unknown.

the psychology of fear

So in the name of *research* I  took it to myself to watch a few movies, and before I knew it, I was falling in love with the genre it came to a part that the more surreal and weird a film is, I liked it more, my roommate at that time who was not a big fan of the genre frequently tells me to wear earphones whenever I decide to watch a film, because, even though she doesn’t see it, she hears it and it makes her cringe.

See the problem with me is, I like to watch these movies at the most ungodly hours, 2 am for example, sometimes I would be so scared after watching, I’d stay up until the wee hours of the morning and when the sun is up, that would be the time I would sleep. >.<

A lot of people are actually surprised to learn that I love films that has something to do with the macabre. Whenever I would tell them that I adore the genre, they would always have a shocked look on their face and ask me “REALLY”?  Now I don’t want people getting the wrong idea that I glorify violence, I am absolutely against it, It just happens that I love the twisted ability of man to actually come up with these films. It makes you wonder about the thought process, does the film symbolize something? Does it present a lot of social issues subconsciously?  See that’s the part of those films that I love exploring, and think about, it also happens that I have  very high threshold for pain that I am able to watch these films and thoroughly process all I want to see in it, instead of just cringing and closing my eyes on the crucial (but bloody) parts.

a Film I've yet to see :)

A lot of other posts following this one would be informal reviews of gore films that I’ve seen so far. Don’t expect to see all new films, as I’m also on the lookout for obscure ones and those that did not receive mainstream exposure.

So please, If you’re reading this, I do hope you’re not of the faint of heart, I can get pretty graphic describing scenes *sorry about that*.

And to those who will be able to read this and actually know me in person, please don’t fear me, I just happen to be an ordinary girl who has an extraordinary love for gore. >_<

I ♥ you Eihi Shina

*no copyright infringement intended for the photos*



the overload of 90’s girlband phase…..

•January 25, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I’m a total 90’s baby, and hell yeah super proud of that. The 90’s ruled my world, every fad, from fashion to tv shows to music, I’m a total sucker for it. Being the obsessive stalker-ish type of fan I can be, I collected (euphemism for hoard) almost every thing from cassette tapes to crappy posters you get from those equally crappy music publications, everything about the girls that ruled the 90’s music scene.

About 2 days ago, with lack of nothing better to do, I decided to download a few music videos and came across someone’s channel with a spice girl song (Wannabe to be exact), and a light bulb sort of flickered inside my head and right then and there I decided to search for 90’s girl band songs. The Spice girls naturally were the ones that first came to mind, and even though I was really really tempted to  download all their songs, I decide to download just a few, those songs that I know I won’t get tired of listening to again and again and again.

While listening to the songs, tons of memories came flashing alongside with the feelings I felt at that time, the 90’s was a good decade, I learned to appreciate music and believe it or not, while playing the said songs from the Spice Girls to B*witched to All Saints, I still remember most of the lyrics and even some of the dance moves.

Don’t get me wrong, I also love current songs, but the 90’s will always have a special place in my musically inclined heart.

*by the way…..( I was so into the Spice Girls that I ended up pestering my mom to buy me a pair of platform shoes in baby pink, and I still have them by the way. 🙂